Saturday, April 30, 2011

Life is a funny thing.

If things had gone as I had
planned when I
graduated high school,
I would be a college graduate today. I would have in my hands, an associates degree
from Snow College.
Thinking about it,
is a little bittersweet.
It would be nice to have that under my belt.
To have that feeling of accomplishment.
To know that I finished something,
instead of feeling like a failure,
and having that knowledge that I didn't accomplish
that one thing, that would make everyone proud of me.

While it stands as a bittersweet thought,
and the realization that I'm not as far in life
as I thought I would be, makes me a little sad.
I am not too distraught.
Sure, dropping everything, and moving home, part way
through the semester, is not the proudest moment
in my life.
But it was the best thing I could have done at the moment.
Ephraim didn't have the thrill that it once had.
I wasn't enjoying myself, and I didn't care about school.
I missed my family, and I missed what I was
missing out on back home.
Once I moved home, I missed my friends in Ephraim,
But would I trade that for what I gained?
I have grown so much since moving home.
I am closer to my family.
I value them more than ever.
If I hadn't have moved home,
when I did.
I wouldn't have met some of the
amazing people
I have met.
I wouldn't have gone to the singles ward
when I did.
And that, that has been the absolute
best thing for me. I have watched,
as my personality has changed, for the good.
I believe I am
a stronger person because of it.
I have a better relationship with the friend
who I have considered to be one of my best
friends, for years. It has grown into something more.
Practically like cousins.
"Friends, and guys come and go, but cousins are
forever." "Jana, can we be
like cousins?!?" -Whitney Fehr
I have made friends who have changed
my life
Who I can trust with anything
I have memories from Snow College,
that will last a lifetime.
And I am sure, that had I'd stayed
there would have been many more memories.
Many many more.
But I have made memories being home,
that are engraved upon my heart.
This might sound cheesy,
but it's the truth.
The experiences and adventures I have had
while being home for the past year
are shaping me.
Shaping me to be the person I want to be.
So while I am stuck between bittersweet/sad
and happiness
I am learning a valuable lesson.
One that I have been taught my whole life.
But it takes experiences like this,
to really realize what it means.
I may think I know what I want,
and what is best for me. But in reality, I know very little.
My Heavenly Father has a plan.
A plan for me, that only He knows
how it is supposed to work out.
I knew that there was something else in store for me,
when I moved home.
I didn't know what,
and who knows, maybe I still don't.
But I feel like my Heavenly Father knew that
I needed to meet the people I have met,
to have their influences in my life.

So, life is a funny thing.
You will run into curves in the path
and forks in the road.
There will be bumpy roads,
and smooth paths
Happiness and sadness
But in the end,
everything will work out
just like they're supposed to.

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