Thursday, September 12, 2013


i had a big long post written,
almost finished.
but, i didn't feel right.
too wordy.

i've learned an important lesson over the past few days.
and it sums up the lesson i've learned pretty well.

"...mourn with those that mourn..comfort those that stand in need of comfort"

one of my very best friends- colby- lost his mother this past week,
and i can quite honestly say, aside from a death in my family, this has affected me the worst.
which i kept finding odd, because i had never met his mom before.

i kept asking myself,
why are you so sad?
why are you crying?
it didn't make sense.

but now, now it does.
you can read here and find that when i first met colby, he was my least favorite person in the world.
then as he says "there was a click" in our friendship and nothing has been the same since.
he quickly grew to be one of my best friends.
as i was talking to our friend alicia about how badly i had been affected by the passing of his mom,
she turned to me and said,
"jana, you and colby have a special bond, and i think that's why you feel this way."
suddenly things made sense in my head.
i no longer felt silly that i felt like crying every second of the day,
i no longer felt weird for feeling like my heart was breaking.
because it is.
it is breaking for him, and his family.
i no longer feel silly for having such a tender-heart that bawls on the frontrunner.
(i had talked to colby for the first time since hearing the news, on my way home from school- bad timing)

i am grateful that i was blessed with this tender little heart,
that allows me to sympathize with others.
i am grateful for the knowledge of the plan of salvation, because without it, i know this time would be a lot harder than it is.
i am grateful, every stinkin' day of my life, that there was that "little click" that formed this bond between colby and i.  i've learned many important life lessons from him, whether he knows it or not.
i am grateful for the lessons i have had over the past few weeks on personal revelation, and that i have followed the promptings to text him, or call him, or simply send a prayer heaven ward for him.  it's crazy to say, but when my heart has felt like it was literally about to break, and i talked to colby, or said a prayer, it didn't feel so broken anymore, and i know that it is because i was asking for him to be comforted.

to sum this all up,
be grateful for a tender heart, 
learn to have a tender heart.
and love those around you, no matter what!

also, if you ever need some ideas on how to help those who are suffering from the loss of a loved one,
read this talk
it is amazing, and i wish i had found it two days ago!

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