when I told the world that I could do it.
That I could be more outgoing.
That this ward change was going to be good for me.
I'm starting to have my doubts.
I mean... I did okay on Sunday.
I drove myself to church (twice)
Once for an interview with the bishopric
(I'm on the mingles committee. I serve food at our mingles [other wise known as lingers])
And then to attend church.
I found myself a seat,
with my old visiting teaching companion,
and met two new people. (that was just in sacrament)
At the mingle I talked,
I talked to quite a few people.
I was proud of myself.
psh, forget it!
I went back to my old self.
I was scared to leave the house.
I was scared when I got to the activity.
I wanted to turn around and go back home.
Given there was WAY more than just my ward at the activity.
But I was so scared that I couldn't meet anyone.
I really didn't want to go back to my old ways.
But, I'm scared I'm going to.
this song...is how I feel right now. Especially from 3:30 on.